Recovery

It has been 18 days since surgery! Funny thing is I came on my blog to update about my surgery and realized I already did. Clearly I was more drugged up then I remember and my memory still sucks. So far things have been going well. The first week I was home I had minimal pain but it was very difficult to get comfortable. I was able to get around okay but limited movement on my upper half...even if I wanted to move more I couldn't. One week after surgery I returned to the plastic surgeon for a check up. Everything was healing well so far but unfortunately my drains were not ready to come out. We scheduled an appointment for Thursday but come Thursday there was still to much drainage. The hardest part in this early part of the recovery was the drains. They were uncomfortable and I had this fear of accidentally yanking them out.

On Thursday May 11th I received a call from the nurse practitioner that works with my breast surgeons. This is the call that I have been trying to not think about, the call I dreaded and wanted all at the same time. When I answered she first asked how I was doing, feeling and healing then proceeded to tell me the pathology results were in. (Me holding my breath...) She immediately said they are good. Oh thank God!! and HAPPY tears ran down my face as I listened. First she praised me for making the choices I did... My left breast (noncancerous one) had ductal carcinoma in situ (DCIS) or in layman's terms pre-cancerous cells, the right nipple (the cancerous breast) had stage 0 cancer (or the same as my left breast) and the cancerous cells removed had negative margins. In other words no cancer cells were seen on the outer edge of the removed tissue. They got it all!!! Goodbye cancer!! I have had a lot of positive news over the last few months but this is the first time I felt absolute relief. It's the first time I felt like I could celebrate. I never worried about having surgery but I really struggled with accepting the loss of my breasts. I could not wrap my head around being okay with it. From the day I was diagnosed I said I would have a double mastectomy but accepting it is a whole different ball game. This phone call was my moment of clarity. I made the best decision ever!! GOODBYE BREASTS!! YOU WERE TRYING TO KILL ME!!!

This may have been my best Mother's Day ever!! I even felt well enough to go to Jack's soccer game drains and all. Thankfully this past Monday (May 15th) my drains were finally ready to be removed or I should say yanked out...the only way to remove them. Ouch!! And finally after 2 weeks I could shower! I swear that was the best shower I have ever had, I literally stayed in there until the hot water was running out. I finally got the courage to look at my new frankenboobs... wow they are not as bad as I feared. They feel odd and don't feel a part of my yet but they do not look as scary as I thought they would. It also felt great to be able to use a sports bra opposed to the super uncomfortable surgical bra. I have to wear a 'binding' bra 24/7 to help the swelling to go down other then when I shower. I am still on restricted activity. I can not lift anything heavier then a gallon of milk and I need to keep my driving local. I go back for another check up next Wednesday to see how things are progressing. It feels good to get out and each day I feel better and better. All I can say is GOD is GOOD and I am so blessed!! xo